Spilt Personality

Ever felt like there’s a war going on inside of your heard between your “Fit” and “Fat” Personalities? I do. I was thinking about that this morning. This weekend was a whirlwind and I feel like mentally I’m toast. I looked back at my posts, Turducken didn’t bother me, but Sunday? Sunday I didn’t care, but today, I CARE A LOT. I am racking my brain thinking why why why did you completely throw Sunday away?

I gave up. I let the excuses in (tired, cold weather, too lazy to cook). I told myself Monday.

Today, I feel like a completely different person. I’m ready to be “back”, I’m ready to work, I remember my goals! I’ve realized these complete 180s that I’m doing, are not healthy and probably going to give me stretch marks. Plus, I’m not making progress! I’m in a continual cycle of working off overindulgences.

So I started reading through our challenge stuff and I think I found my missing piece.

A maintenance plan.

I know what I need to do when I’m ready to be hard core, 100% complaint, and make progress. But to have that drive 100% of the time is impossible. I have not done it. I am doing much better breaking it into chunks, but even on the Jean Drop Challenge, I wasn’t 100% good for all 6 weeks. (side note: I think a month long compliance challenge is coming Jan 1 lol)

My first thought is that I have so much weight to lose, how can I possibly think about a MAINTENANCE plan? Isn’t that for people who have reached goal?

More and more…I realize it’s going to take longer than I initially thought. Why? Because being 100% on plan is HARD. I get sick of the food I have to eat, I feel trapped by all the planning, and I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect that I stress out! I could do it if I gave up having a social life, but then I would be miserable. The misery isn’t worth it. I don’t want to miss out every event, I already say no to enough of them. And these moments, we don’t get back.

At least with a maintenance plan, I stay where I am instead of sliding backward, which is what I am currently doing. And I know I’m not ok because I’m still thinking about Sunday and it makes me feel BAD. I shouldn’t feel bad! I dislike these feelings because they’re so so negative! I have really been trying to be more positive about the weight loss. I notice that cheering myself on rather than beating myself up gets me A LOT further. I should not be punished for making mistakes trying to improve my health! Do we punish babies for trying to take their first steps? No! We encourage them to keep trying. While that seems dramatic, it’s the same thing, I am attempting something new for ME.

So a maintenance plan….. it’s honestly what this holiday challenge is all about. I need to finish reading these 14 pages (sorry to those I shared, I didn’t realize it was so long!) and figure out what is going to work for me because roller coaster highs and lows….send me straight into a binge.

 

Any good maintenance tips? Please share!