Starting Over

I finally feel like myself again. I got great sleep last night and got back into my usual Saturday morning activity.....dog park! The weather was fantastic and I really enjoyed playing fetch with Molly. She is quite the swimmer! I thought I was going to have to haul her furry behind out the water to go home. 

I was quite tired after this outing and I thought about last summer how I would workout, do chores, take her to the dog park, then come home, get dressed, and go do something with friends. It's a hard pill to swallow, thinking about where I used to be and that I am not there anymore. It makes me mad and disappointed in myself. 

 And I never realized how rough I was on myself lately! When I run, I think about the paces I used to run or how effortless 3 miles used to be. When I lift, I think about how I used to lift heavier weights. And clothes? I'm wearing pants that a few months ago I was considering getting rid of because they were too baggy. 

But one of the things that I've been learning through meditation is to just be in the present moment. The past is already done and only god knows the future. I am essentially starting over, but with more knowledge than last time. Today I thought about what really makes me happy and fulfilled.

My list:

Seeing my dog run around healthy and happy

Spending quality time with my fam/friends

Cooking delicious healthy meals 

Improving my fitness

When these things don't happen, I notice that I'm stressed out and upset. It's funny, but work doesn't make the list. Sure, I'm competitive and want to do a good job, but honestly, I just want to fund my lifestyle and living paycheck to paycheck is not fun.

 (Been there done that)

So I'm going to start reminding myself of two questions when things get crazy. The first, "what can I do right now to get me closer to my goals?" And then I'm going to do that, whether it be a walk, packing my lunch, or some foam rolling. The second, "Does this activity contribute to the things that really make me happy?" And if it doesn't, I'm going to stop doing it. 

I'm also going to work on posting daily. Writing makes me think about what I'm really doing and re-connect with where I'm trying to go. Here we go again :)