To Cheat or Not to Cheat?

Why is it called a cheat meal in the first place? There's nothing about the word "cheat" that's positive. Plus, it also infers that whatever I'm cheating on has become unbearable in some fashion. So in a sense, I'm saying that my healthy eating isn't all that enjoyable. And we wonder why people fail.

I started thinking about my cheat meals and what foods I tend to eat: italian, mexican, pizza, chinese, dessert, etc. What do these have in common? Carbs, carbs, carbs, and fat, fat, fat! I always eat way too much and now I'm wondering if I really enjoyed it. I know I hate feeling like my stomach is going to burst and that I can't breathe. I hate feeling uncomfortable and barely able to move. 

It feels like cheating is saying it's ok to be the old unhealthy me JUST THIS ONE TIME, then I'm supposed to do a 180 back to healthy me. I know plenty of people that can have their cheat and bounce right back, and I envy you. A cheat meal for me is the slippery slope right down to the gates of the food demon. Once the food demon is out, I can easily wreck a whole week of progress. Then the guilt that comes after is crippling. It makes me negative, it makes me doubt myself, and I slip even further. And I've done it to myself enough times that I want to smack myself for just recognizing this pattern.

I confess. I can't have a cheat meal without it unraveling my progress. So why am I banging my head against the wall each week and hell, in some form, torturing myself with this? It's kinda like expecting myself to be able to do a full unassisted pull-up right now. I know I can't do one because I haven't built the necessary strength needed to accomplish that. Like pull-ups, I haven't built the necessary will power/discipline to cheat and jump right back on plan. I can''t do it and that is my confession for the day. 

So what am I going to do? Build upon what I know. I know that I can follow plan and I exercise to build a bank of calories for the weekend. I know a few low calorie cocktail options that don't derail progress or make me crazy like food does. I have a smartphone and can find healthy choices for restaurants OR I have good friends who I can ask for help on what's best for certain types of food. I also discovered recently that I can make mini-pizzas on a sandwich thin and that squashes my pizza craving. 

Maybe one day, I'll be one of those people who can cheat and jump right back on plan. But honestly, have you ever thought about how many different options we have in food with cultures across the world and access to anything via the internet? And I live in Dallas, they don't call it the metroplex for nothing; there's all types of people and food here if you're willing to explore. Maybe it's just time to let go of the known and starting seeing what else is out there.