I see a bicep!

I have been staring in mirrors all weekend. It is week 4 of the body fat challenge and I'm noticing some changes. Like the fact that I can start to see the outline of my bicep! Before when I would flex, all you would see is a big blob of arm. 

I was also looking at myself in the gym mirrors. My left ankle is a slight cankle, but considering there's a metal plate in there, prolly always will be. I can see my triceps a tiny bit while planking or doing push-ups. I am getting more parallel and my knees aren't buckling in on squats, so my form is improving! 

My goal is to ultimately work my way up to doing weighted squats in the squat rack. From all the reading I've done, if you want a nice backside, you gotta squat! (Also stalking out super fit girls at the gym, confirmed this too) You can do them on a smith machine, but it takes away the full range of motion. I tried the squat rack once with Vic and I felt so unstable/scared that I was going to drop the weight on myself. It still intimidates me... for now. 

I also read an article taking about the benefits of squats for tight hips. It all comes back to balance and making sure all your muscles are equally strong. I know from all the running, I am quad dominate, but hammys/glutes? Forget about it! So weak. Because of that imbalance, my hip flexors would "help" out and do more work than they're made to do. Couple that with poor stretching, that's why I've had hip issues. Not lately though, I have been making stretching a priority and all the classes give me a variety of ways to torture all my muscle groups. 

Working out? Just keep doing what I'm doing. Nutrition? I had my cheat meal Saturday night, but it also slid into breakfast this morning. I gotta rein that in, but still much better than usual. I was on my way to Jenny's Saturday morning and waited till I reached her house to eat the breakfast I had packed. Typically, I would've said I'm hungry now and did Starbucks drive-thru. 

This week, my focus is portion control and getting in more fresh produce. I still have  some breakfast leftovers from last week so trying to finish them off. I am also trying to push my snacks to raw fruits and veggies to help fill me up. Plus they take longer to eat. I had a few hungry moments last week.

Overall, it's slow. I'm fighting the thought that it's too slow and trying to give myself time to adapt. I know I'm working hard physically, I am wiped out by Sunday and tonight's bedtime walk with Molly was rough! I'm able to work hard because my body has fuel. There's tweaks I can make in food and I'm exploring that. I guess because I'm doing so well and I have so much weight to lose, I feel like more should be coming off!! I'm working on patience.....not my strong suit :P

God I hate pictures

Ever notice how pictures seem like a rude awakening? I had to do pictures and measurements today for the challenge. It's somewhat discouraging, because I have made progress and it feels like it doesn't show up in the photo. But I just think about what a picture 10 or 20 lbs ago must look like....yikes!! But I went back through some old emails and my body fat is down! Woot! So I just gotta keep pushing. It's a starting point and I don't plan on staying here! 

I also realized today that I have more work to do on portion control. Ashley made lunch today (tilapia and pasta) and I was still hungry after. I tried to wait it out, but I ended up getting a yogurt and hummus with pretzels. I think she felt bad like I didn't get enough food, but in reality, I believe it's me! So I'm going to be more diligent with using the measuring cups. I also need to memorize this chart, so I can remain diligent even when I'm out. 

                                        

I also have not been calorie counting. I know, I know, you must think I'm crazy and setting myself up for failure. Every time I got serious about losing weight, I would count calories. That was my go to and what I had to do to lose weight. But Honestly, it was making me crazy because I felt like I never had time to do it and I was always scrambling to update and it became a source of stress. And once I stopped, the weight came back. Why? It wasn't a sustainable process for me. I used to think it was lack of willpower, but what I have learned from my trainer is that willpower is in finite supply. I think on past attempts and you know when things were the easiest? When I avoided people and situations that would tempt and test me. I lost weight, but I was also dreadfully lonely. I can't live my life like that. 

So I'm working on creating habits that I can live with. 

A few I'm working on:

1. Aiming for drinking a gallon of water a day

2. Eating protein and produce with every meal 

3. Picking one starchy item per meal 

I'm also researching intuitive eating. I've read a few articles and came to the conclusion that I don't even know my own hunger/fullness cues. I don't have that awareness at all. I eat way too fast and I'm conditioned to eat based on what time if day it is. Kinda feeling like one of Pavlov's dogs. 

The fast eating started when I was a kid. With so many of us at the dinner table, if you wanted seconds, especially on taco night, I had to beat my two brothers to seconds. As I got older, it always feels like I'm eating on the go. You know what slows me down? Being on a date or food that you have to put in a little work to eat. 

With the new job, what time we eat lunch is based on what meetings there are for the day and when it's a good time to break from training. Typically I would say I'm a noon eater, but I've experienced lunch at 11am, 1130am, 1230pm, 1pm, and even 130pm in the last 3 weeks. I was not pleased with a 11am lunch, but once I got my lunch out, I was hungry and I ate. I also had days where for some reason, I didn't feel hungry till 1ish. It's crazy! 

The experiment continues......weight loss really is a mental battle

                                                          

Week 4 begins

This is the 4th week of my new life as a commuter. Wow, already? I can proudly say that I have successfully packed my lunch every day. I'm becoming a prep master and crockpot queen. Meal planning has made my life so much easier and I feel accomplished with all the new recipes I'm trying. I timed myself doing prep this week. It took me a little over an hour to shop and about 2 hours to prep. Meal planning is usually an all week thing as I scan Pinterest for recipes to try, but the actually writing out takes less than an hour. So let's say 4 hours and I have meals for 7 days. How amazing is that?

I have variety. No cooking during the week. I'm satisfied. And less stress! I finally found a way that keeps me happy. And, I'm freezing some meals as well for the weekends I'm off traveling. I seriously wish I had a standalone freezer...sigh apartment living.... 

My workouts? Have been full of variety as well. I take classes at the Novartis gym, do videos from my trainer, lift at LA fitness, yoga, and walking everyday. I really gave up on following some sort of schedule because it honestly stressed me out more when I missed what was on the schedule. My motto now is get in some type of workout right after work. I need to move and sweat, when I get to a point where that no longer works, then I'll rethink it. I honestly think all the variety helps me build a stronger body since I'm not working the same muscles all the time. And by the end of the week, my body is toast and I hurt in places where I didn't know muscles exist!. I'm happy to report my calf is fully healed, so I'm going to try to ease in some running here and there. 

I've also learned the importance of rest. When I'm tired, I back off for an "easier" workout like yoga or a walk. Actually, I'd like to retract that, yoga is not easy, it just forces your mind to control your body in a different way. Trust me, I'm still sore after yoga, but it's a rest from the high intensity classes. I hope this leads to less injuries for me. 

So what's next? The body fat bet is still going strong. We've missed each other on weekends due to schedules, but I will have an updated number this weekend. I've also joined another challenge my trainer is doing. This one is 6 weeks and started today. I'm ready to rock this one out and hopefully win again ;) 

I'm struggling with not knowing. I have not been weighing myself and the body fat monitor takes another set of hands to push start. Plus weight is not entirely indicative of body fat. I have been lifting heavy and pushing myself on the cardio, starting to notice small improvements like not completely dying on the last 5 minutes of the stair master ( I know it means I need to bump the level up shhh!) and push-ups are starting to feel like I'm actually doing them correctly. So I'm working on that being enough and focusing on being consistent with the habits. Because this is the point where I would second guess myself and start trying to tweak things instead of waiting. I know the body never does what we want it to when we want it to and it'll release fat when it decides to. I have to wait it out and see what's on the other side. 

Sunday Prep!

I outdid myself this weekend. I spent 2 hours in the kitchen and quite amazed at how quickly it went! I think the key was doing the actual food shopping on a different day and already have my recipes planned out. 

Recipe #1: A take on caprese salad. Cucumbers, tomatoes, basil, mozzarella, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic, salt, and pepper. 

Recipe #2: Bacon ranch chicken with broccoli and cheese. I am a huge fan of foil packets. So easy to throw together and put in the oven. 

Recipe#3: Peanut butter banana chocolate chip protein oatmeal bake. This tastes like a dessert for breakfast :)

Recipe #4: Hawaiian chicken in the crock pot. I'll add peppers and onions when it's closer to done and serve over rice. 

All that in two hours. I have well over a weeks worth of food. Some of it will definitely be put in the freezer. I'm working on getting a collection of meals, so that if I have a weekend where I travel, I don't have to cram in prep for the week. I seriously wish I had another freezer. As I'm getting better with portion sizes, my food is really going a long way. Hands down, the crock pot was the best investment ever.

So I'm ready for another healthy week and quite pumped that I don't have to do any cooking. Life is good when you prep :)

Having a Grrrrr moment

I'm having one of those days. Friday I was tired so I just took Molly for a long walk. My plan was getting in bed early so I could hit it hard this weekend. Guess what? I woke up still exhausted. So I took Molly to daycare and went shopping. I personally love shopping by myself. It's nice to just wander around in my own thoughts and not have to accommodate anyone. I got some great sales. My iPad mini was 15% off, I got 4 nike sports bras were 50% off, and a crock pot that's was 20% off. All things that can help me in my fitness journey. (It's easier to blog on an iPad! :P) 

Then I kinda got down on myself. I am loving the colors and styles I see for spring, however I refuse to buy any more clothes at this size. It's frustrating to spend money and know that it's not going to fit in a few months. Plus thinking about shorts makes me want to do a couple hundred squats. And bathing suits? The thought of spandex makes me cringe. I don't like being this size at all and I'm not sure how to come to terms with that. I'm afraid that I'll get complacent and just get stuck here. And it's not just that I don't like it, I know it's not healthy. Today, it feels like I have so far to go. And realistically, I do. So after walking around and feeling sorry for myself, I just realized I was in a mood and mentally exhausted.

So I treated myself to Starbucks and did my meal planning for the week. My positivity is coming back along with excitement to test some new recipes. 

Other positives to note. I have not had fast food in 2 weeks! In the last two weeks, I have been active every day and 11 of those days are actual workouts. 

Tonight I'm doing yoga and tomorrow is working out with Vic. I'm on the right track lifestyle-wise, so that's good enough for now. The perfectionist in me just needs to take a back seat and I'm finally starting to recognize that. Results will come. If not, I know great people to ask for advice!

Catching Up!

I have been seriously MIA. Why? My new life is jam packed and I am adjusting to it. I'm on the go from the moment I wake up at 5am till about 10pm.

5ams, only seem rough on Mondays and Thursdays. I HAVE to get up, there's no leeway to snooze, so I'm doing it.

I had a lot of guilt over Molly being crated 12 hours a day, but she's doing just fine. Bought some new toys that challenge her, daily morning walks, and nights at the dog park keep her happy.

Work is insane, but that makes the day go by so quick. And with me packing lunch daily, I've been eating really well. No headaches!

I'm adjusting to working out after work. These trainers that teach classes are kicking my butt! But I love getting out the days stress and I get to workout with my friends! It makes it easy to get a workout in and I do moves I hate doing, like ab  work (ugh).

By time I get home, I have time for dog park, shower, get tomorrow's stuff ready, and holy shit it's 10, get in bed! I am finding that I don't have time to cook during the week. So I'm making due with skillet recipes, casseroles, and anything you can throw together quickly. Sunday is a complete cooking day.

Ashley and I are also making lunch for each other one day a week. I have Monday's and she does Thursday's. So that's one less day I have to worry about and I get variety. She made couscous, which was cool, because mine never seems to turn out right! I made her italian skillet (thanks Rebecca!).

I'm also eating two small pieces of chocolate daily (160 cal worth). I have trouble with moderation on sweets, so figured why not practice? It sounds crazy, like I'm playing with temptation and the devil,  but it's freaking working!!!! Last week, I did indeed have chocolate every day. This week, I didn't have chocolate Sunday and Tuesday. I'm starting to notice when I think about it, there's not this intense need for chocolate, which spirals into cookies, chips, pizza, etc. And trust me, we're talking ghiradelli and lindt  chocolate ;)

Vic and I did a week 1 check in on Sunday. I lost 4% body fat, he lost 2%. The good thing about the body fat measurer  is that you need someone else to press start while you grip the handles or else the number is crazy inaccurate. So there's no checking obsessively. I have to do the work and I get to see once a week. And considering you can flux your water weight by 5-7lbs, the scale can't pinpoint where I am. Therefore, I have to do the exercise and do the nutrition. Period.

Overall, I just decided that this new environment was going to be different. It's crazy how being in a new place makes it easier to establish new habits. It's almost like I get a do over, which is refreshing because that never happens. Looking forward to that summer body!